I can't share Simon's birth story without first telling about Samuel's because in many ways this has all been sort of a healing process for me. When I was about 38 weeks pregnant, my midwife ordered an ultrasound and from that it was determined that Samuel "only" weighed about six pounds. So, we did the non-stress test at 39 weeks, four days and it came out with normal results. She said I really needed to be induced because there was probably something wrong with the placenta. She also suggested that we go to Henry Medical and have another ultrasound done (because their u/s tech was out). As a first time parent, I was very upset that something could be wrong with my baby, so I went ahead and scheduled the induction for that Thursday morning and then I drove over to HMC for the ultrasound. This tech said that the most conservative weight she could come up with was eight pounds, but I kept everything the same and didn't go with my intuition and gut feelings and cancel the induction.
On Thursday morning, 7/26/07 at 5:00 a.m. I was induced, but I still did not want the epidural. I used the Bradley Method for Natural Childbirth that Marc and I had been practicing and studying over the previous months. They had me hooked up to the monitor and over the next 11.5 hours Samuel started to show some distress and that had us all very concerned. Then around 2 p.m. the midwife started preparing me for a possible C-Section because of the distress and the fact that Samuel was not descending. At this point, I was getting pretty tired and really ready to meet Samuel!
At 4:30 p.m. the midwife examined me again and I was about 7 cm, but Samuel was still not descending and showing distress. So, she advised that we go ahead and do the C-Section to avoid any possible brain damage. She said that they would do an epidural and that I could nurse Samuel immediately after the birth. At 4:45 p.m. the anesthesiologist came in and told me that the epidural might cause my MS to relapse and that he would have to put me to sleep. I didn't realize what that would mean later, but I said okay. Then I found out that Marc couldn't be in there with me because the anesthesiologist had to take his place. Then they took me back to prep me for surgery. Now, my labor was definitely hard work and a little uncomfortable at times, but I had experienced no pain until this point. I was laying on my back on the operating table in a very cold room and I remember asking several times for the anesthesia. The pain was horrible!!! I remember my midwife saying, "Poor thing, she hasn't asked for anything all day." Finally the anesthesiologist showed back up and said that even the gas could cause my MS to relapse and I basically just told him that I didn't care and to just give me something!
Then around 7:30 p.m. I woke up and there was the sweet L&D nurse that had been with me since 7 a.m. My throat was killing me and I remember asking about Samuel. How much did he weigh? Was he jaundiced? When I got back to my room we already had visitors and then they finally brought me Samuel. He had been born at 5:05 p.m. and was 8 pounds, 3 ounces (what??) and 21 inches long. He was perfect! (The reason for the distress that he had been showing was because he was slightly transverse and was bashing his hid into my pelvis with each contraction. As a result, he had a bruise on the crown of his head.) I tried nursing him, but they had given him a pacifier in the nursery and it would be a few weeks (and lots of crying from both of us) before we really got the hang of it. Later I would realize how much that separation of 2.5 hours had affected us.
The hardest thing was what I had so looked forward to - the first moments that Marc, Samuel and I would have together after his birth - checking Samuel over to see how perfect he was, me listening to Marc call our friends and family with the exciting news, Marc and I talking about how it had all been worth it. I felt that all of this had been lost forever! (I still cry about this, I am even crying as I write about it now.) I also felt like such a failure! Why did I let them induce me in the first place? Why didn't I just insist that they give me the epidural instead of putting me to sleep? I knew better! It just seemed that one intervention led to another until the thing that I feared the most happened - the dreaded C-Section! I can't really blame my midwife because her hands were tied by the doctors she had to answer to. I could only promise myself that the next time - if we were given another chance - would be very different!! Still, I am thankful that we were so blessed to have a healthy, beautiful boy that makes me smile every day.
Our first family picture the day after Samuel was born.
You can see the bruise on Samuel's head pretty well in this picture.
